An inspiring and honest blog post from one of our students currently doing the 30 day challenge.
I have new found respect for myself and my own abilities and strengths.
I used to hate myself. That sounds strong – perhaps I should say I disliked the way I was and didn’t have much respect for myself. I think respect requires love and acceptance which I didn’t have towards my own being.
I also didn’t believe I could think about myself in another way. I didn’t want to hate myself – but what was there to like? I didn’t like my body, I saw myself as lazy, unproductive… I could go on but I won’t bore you with my own insecurities!
It’s much easier to see the bad in others and yourself and to criticise faults than it is to see the good and love without prejudice or conditions.
I am surprised but grateful for attempting the 30 day challenge.
I know that I can usually get through a 90 minute class and I know that I can do that for 21 days in a row (my current count).
I know that I can find my sense of humour and that my body can do more than I give it credit for.
I know that the hard days come, but they pass and the good days come as well. I know that when the tough days come, my strength is there to carry me through, and when the good days are here I’m filling my reserves. Energy, love, gratitude, freedom, positivity – and much more throughout body and mind.
It’s much harder to be worn down, stepped on, denigrated when there is simply no space in your being for these things.
Knowledge is information but Knowing is changing (yep it’s stuck in my mind from the changing room!). It is an act – not something that happens passively. It is very hard to do Yoga passively. So it is very hard (in my personal experience) not to feel something physically or emotionally during a class. But rather than this being a scary thing (it may be at first) I’ve learned just to see what happens and let it be. There is the deep ocean that has peaks and troughs but is still just a deep, deep ocean.
I have read that doing the 30 day challenge brings great benefits to your health, changes in your practise.
I never imagined the changes would be so life encompassing and deep.
The depth is how even when I’m not in the studio, my mind and body are getting closer day by day. Mind checks breathing, aches and pains, alert and accepting. Body is more forthcoming with needs. I need sleep. I need nourishment. I need you to quit your speed-of-light worrying 24/7 and just BE. (This thought arises very often but not in a negative way – it’s more nurturing and accepting.)
So I think I have remembered or relearnt how to nurture and love myself, and that putting myself first in this way is not selfish or weak, but the best choice I have made in recent memory.
If I can make this one choice, build this new habit which has had so many positive influences and outcomes even after only 21 days, I can surely believe that further change isn’t just possible but indeed inevitable.
Don’t fight the old, build the new.